Posts

Restarting

To be honest, I'm not sure what I'm doing with my life anymore. Seems like I'm hitting a downward spiral again. Here goes nothing~ Needing to jumpstart my writing all over again  It's fucking 20201, and 6 months have passed 🤦🏾‍♀️

Saala Khadoos!

Dear Khadoos, Muhje nahin jaane ki kabse itna mushkil ho jaayege... Tumko batane ke liye.. mere dil ka sachchi baat.. Lekin ye kabhi nahin hua na? Dear Khadoos,  Why? Why you? Of all the people I've met, why is it that you're the only one who gives me butterflies in my stomach? Why only you who doesn't make sense, and yet you're the most sensible being in my life? Why you, who are not the most patient listener, and yet you seem to get me? You know what to say even when I don't make sense.  Dear Khadoos,  I really don't know where this will go. I know I already have feelings for you. I think it has always been there since I met you. And I still don't know why.  Perhaps I should not have met you.  Dear Khadoos,  I don't understand why I feel this way for you. Neither are you the listener that I crave, nor are you the talker I can find myself having conversations with. And yet, why does my heart keep tugging its way to yo

Masala chai...

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Rain me over

Wash over me, Let the rain drops trickle over Let me feel the gentle pitter patter I want to the the rain wash away everything, Let it flow Let it go Let the sorrow go away Let the pain wash away Make the hurt go away Let it all flow away from me Wash it all away Let me become a new slate a again Let me begin with the fresh start Let the rain pour over me Let everything wash away

I can't think of anything else to say...

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Why do I even bother? Just when I thought I'm okay, and boom!  The past knocks and drops by to say hello... How is this even possible? Why the fuck does it even happen? I just don't get this...why the fuck are you even concerned with what I post? It's not like I'm in your life. Why? So what if I post stuff that has some political connotations? It's not like it has anything to do with you And then you tell me that you're going to get married soon. What's your point in that anyways? It's not like you ever understood me or my feelings. And just as you came, you just disappeared. WHY? I hate you! For all the good times and the fact that I could never tell you how I truly felt. Fuck you! :'(

Hey you :)

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Conversations of the Deep For some reason, I'm missing you today. More than usual... I don't know if you've read anything I write. But I sure hope you haven't and won't. If you do, hmmm...please just don't ask me anything. I don't think I'd be able to face you knowing that you have read this :/ I know I'm being silly...I just can’t bring myself to send a message to you. I'm scared that you will know think that I'm desperate or something. And also that you'll know that I'm missing you. Yeah, ultra silly but it still doesn't take away that fear. Hence, I'm writing to you here instead. Why do I miss you? That, I'm not sure. I guess I just miss talking with you, or spending time with you. In some way or other, you seem to keep me grounded. And you help me alleviate the constant fears that I have in me. No doubt I'm currently feeling at my most insecure but I feel like I don’t have to hide it from you.