eK pAgLi Ki KaHaNi

feeling quite lost and blur... i dont even know what have to do anymore.. everything seems to be urgent and blown out of proportions.. i dont know what i am supposed to do... i feel like such a fool.. a dunce... i feel as like questioning myself for all that i am going through now.. i keep asking myself, if all this is worth or not.. i don't know who to ask... i feel like such a failure... time itself is going against me... especially when that is one of the things that i need the most... why?

to my "dear" friend, how are you? it's been awhile since i heard from you... how's life been treating you? i guess i can say that it's treating you better than me... since that's how you have depicted your life to the public... but of course, i dont expect you to know what's happening in my life.. after all...it's you've become too busy with your life... don't worry, i completely understand.. i know you were busy with your work.. and now your studies...it's no problem if you can't find the time to even reply a single text message of mine...sure, i completely understand... i also understand that i'm no longer important in your life... cos, i can see that you have your own circle of friends... ones who actually still keep in touch with me more than you do... i'm sure they are pretty "jobless" just the way you are so "busy" and caught up with your life.. no worries... b

~so many missing pieces in my life~  as much as i almost got all what i wanted at this stage of life... this still sucks..alot! there's so many things left to settle... i feel kinda overwhelmed with all the things that i have to do.. that i cant even focus on the stuff that i used to do... i seriously miss my photography... i miss my crazy late nite editings.. i miss just stopping  in my tracks for the flowers and the lil things... and then there's the part which i miss the beauty of nature... the place that i'm at currently sucks big time.. its a damn urban city with no life.. and all it does is suck out the life from you instead.. smoggy, smokey, hazy city of boredom i'm also missing my love who is approx 100miles away... but worse still, i'm missing my family that is over 10000miles aways :'( *sigh* i feel pretty bummed la.. so many things to do...and yet so little time... especially when u're the quee

i dunno why... but today..now...this moment... i feel like it sucks to be me... for some reason..i dont feel like my upbeat self.. i'm beginning to feel drained... after all the things that i have been going through.. and now...all that my mind is thinking... " is it worth it? " i keep wondering... should i just ask my parents to take me back with them... but that would mean that i'm admitting defeat.. for all the things i have a fought for and still fighting.... it sucks to be me... bleaaggghhhhh *note: i think i my hormones are out of whack again.. but doesnt make my thought any less valid!! adioz ~shakti~